whatever

i'm not sure what is going on anymore...on this planet...i'm sure of who i really am, but not sure why i chose to attempt at being a human again...i don't think i've been really good at the whole human thing...some of the confusion stemmed from all the lies i was told...well, not just me, all humans...all the lies that have ever been told...by the time i figured everything out, or at least had a better idea of what is going on here...well......it just feels like it is too late to make any good use of it. 

 people say things like, or its never too late...look at this person or that person...it wasn't too late for them...and, i think...and then i remember its really not good to think too much...so i listen...and when i tell my ego to just be still, to leave me alone, i feel who i really am...and, when i am immersed in the sensation of just being, it doesn't matter what i do or if i do...none of it...because, in the end...its all been an illusion...some sort of crazy dream...


my problems stemmed from allowing other people to drag me into their dreams...instead of staying true to my own dreams~i know i'm not suppose to carry around regrets, mostly because i have a "bad" back, but i do have regrets...many of them...and, if i have regrets, well, then i am holding on to the past...and i am not suppose to hold on to the past...i'm suppose to say...skip to my lou...skip to my lay...the past is gone & i don't even remember what happened anyway...

whatever...

my sister says,  you should be a photographer...she's so silly...today, everyone is a photographer...my sister says...you should write...i probably should...i do know a considerable amount of real life stories...i just want a bolt of lightening to come down and hit me for motivation.

daringtothink: Bees Recognize Human Faces

daringtothink: Bees Recognize Human Faces:  After my beautiful 20 yr.old son decided to shed his flesh for “heaven", I began to cultivate a garden in his honor in our barren back...

Bees Recognize Human Faces

 After my beautiful 20 yr.old son decided to shed his flesh for “heaven", I began to cultivate a garden in his honor in our barren backyard. As a novice gardener, I soon realized there were no bees. I had to hand pollinate the tomato plants. After contemplation of the dilemma of the lack of bees, I realized if I planted some heavily flowered plants, I might just be able to attract the bees to the backyard. 

 Within three months, the garden was thriving with the bees. Two and a half years have passed since I began the garden. The once barren backyard is now unrecognizable, as it is overgrown with a variety of perennial flowers and plants that continually attract a wide variety of bees. I always marveled at how the bees never seemed bothered by me working in the garden…even if I were pulling weeds or transplanting one plant or the other or watering. 

There have actually been times where the bees climbed up my arm before appearing to have lost their energy or ability to sustain further life. There have been times when a bee will encompass my head when I’m deep in meditation. (It is common for me to spend five hours or more a day in the garden.) 

After reading this essay, it has confirmed what I began to realize after the hundreds of days spent in the harmony of the garden…the bees recognize me as belonging to their world…and, they are cognizant I am working with them on the pollen objective.

 (reference: http://io9.com/5471075/bees-can-remember-what-human-faces-look-like)

A RESPONSE & comment | Faithperceptions's Blog

A RESPONSE & comment | Faithperceptions's Blog